FitTheSixth

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(updated with more or less accurate timestamps)
(initial addition of next segment. to be cleaned up shortly)
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Start of segment timecheck: 12:20
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Start of segment timecheck: 13:05
   
 
<pre>
 
<pre>
ARTHUR Are these really coffins? They’re terribly cold.
 
 
F/X SUDDEN ZAP
 
 
NUMBER TWO (Very sudden, very loud, very Germanic and Military) All right! Hold it right there!
 
 
FORD Hello?
 
 
ARTHUR Why isn’t anyone ever pleased to see us?
 
 
(FADE)
 
 
F/X FADE UP: BRIDGE. OCCASIONAL SOUND OF SPLASHINKG WATER
 
 
(The Captain and Number One are both fairly vague, pleasant, ineffectual people)
 
 
NUMBER ONE Er, Captain.?
 
 
CAPTAIN Yes, Number One?
 
 
NUMBER ONE Just had a sort of report thing from Number Two.
 
 
CAPTAIN Oh dear.
 
 
NUMBER ONE He was shouting something or other about having found some prisoners.
 
 
CAPTAIN Well perhaps that’ll keep him happy for a bit, he’s always wanted some.
 
 
FX DOOR OPENS
 
 
NUMBER TWO Captain sir.
 
 
CAPTAIN Oh, hello, Number Two, having a nice day?
 
 
NUMBER TWO I have brought you the prisoners I located in freezer bay seven sir.
 
 
FORD/ARTHUR Er, hello.
 
 
CAPTAIN Oh Hello, excuse me not getting up, just having a quick bath. Well, gin and tonics all round then. Look in the fridge Number One.
 
 
NUMBER ONE Certainly, sir
 
 
 
NUMBER TWO Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir
 
NUMBER TWO Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir
   
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CAPTAIN Why on Earth should I want to do that?
 
CAPTAIN Why on Earth should I want to do that?
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  +
NUMBER TWO Well to get information out of them sir. They are my prisoners, can’t I just interrogate them - a little bit?
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CAPTAIN Oh, all right, if you must. Ask them what they want to drink.
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NUMBER TWO Oh thank you sir. [Shouts] All right! You scum! You vermin!
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CAPTAIN I say, steady on Number Two.
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NUMBER TWO Oh very good sir. Whaddya you want to drink?!
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FORD Well, uh, the gin-and-tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur?
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ARTHUR What? Oh yes..
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NUMBER TWO With ice or without?
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FORD Oh, with please.
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NUMBER TWO Lemon?
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FORD Er, yes please. And do you have any of those little biscuits? You know the cheesy ones?
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NUMBER TWO I’m asking the questions!
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CAPTAIN Ye-ah… Number Two… Number Two.
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NUMBER TWO Sir?
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CAPTAIN Push off would you, there’s a good chap. I’m trying to have a relaxing bath.
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NUMBER TWO Sir. May I remind you that you have now been in that bath for over three years?
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CAPTAIN Yes. Well, you need to relax a lot in a job like mine.
   
 
</pre>
 
</pre>
   
End of segment timecheck: 13:10
+
End of segment timecheck: 14:??
   
 
=== Alternate online script ===
 
=== Alternate online script ===

Revision as of 20:51, 10 January 2018

Start of segment timecheck: 13:05

NUMBER TWO    Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir

CAPTAIN    Interrogate them, Number Two?

NUMBER TWO    Yes sir. Turture them sir, stick matchsticks under their finger nails, stub out lighted cigarettes on their skin, sir...

CAPTAIN    Why on Earth should I want to do that?

NUMBER TWO        Well to get information out of them sir. They are my prisoners, can’t I just interrogate them - a little bit?
CAPTAIN        Oh, all right, if you must. Ask them what they want to drink.
NUMBER TWO        Oh thank you sir. [Shouts] All right! You scum! You vermin! 
CAPTAIN        I say, steady on Number Two.
NUMBER TWO        Oh very good sir. Whaddya you want to drink?!
FORD        Well, uh, the gin-and-tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur?
ARTHUR        What? Oh yes..
NUMBER TWO        With ice or without?
FORD        Oh, with please.
NUMBER TWO        Lemon?
FORD        Er, yes please. And do you have any of those little biscuits? You know the cheesy ones?
NUMBER TWO        I’m asking the questions!
CAPTAIN        Ye-ah… Number Two… Number Two.
NUMBER TWO        Sir?
CAPTAIN        Push off would you, there’s a good chap. I’m trying to have a relaxing bath.
NUMBER TWO        Sir. May I remind you that you have now been in that bath for over three years?

CAPTAIN        Yes. Well, you need to relax a lot in a job like mine.

End of segment timecheck: 14:??

Alternate online script

http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)

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