FitTheSixth

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Start of segment timecheck: 09:13
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Start of segment timecheck: 13:12
   
 
<pre>
 
<pre>
ZAPHOD Get in the escape capsules!
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NUMBER TWO Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir
   
F/X CHASE: FEET DOWN METAL CORRIDORS FOLLOWED BY BEAST SCREECH, AND GENERALLY KNOCKING FURNITURE OVER AND EATING IT
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CAPTAIN Interrogate them, Number Two?
   
FORD Right, Arthur and I’ll take this one! Zaphod you and the others take the left-hand one!
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NUMBER TWO Yes sir. Torture them sir, stick matchsticks under their finger nails, stub out lighted cigarettes on their skin, sir...
((note: radio edit removes opening "right", and gives it to Zaphod as a response to this line))
 
   
F/X HATCHWAY OPENS. SCUFFLES AS ARTHUR AND FORD GET IN, THE BEAST'S SCREECHES ARE MUFFLED
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CAPTAIN Why on Earth should I want to do that?
   
FORD Press the go-stud Arthur.
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NUMBER TWO To get information out of them sir.
   
F/X DULL DETONATIONS AS CAPSULE BLASTS OFF FROM THE SHIP, AND THE WHOOSH OF IT ESCAPING
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CAPTAIN Oh no no no, I expect they just dropped in for a quick gin and tonic, don't you?
   
ARTHUR Wheew! ('''Double take''') Hey, Ford, look. The other capsule’s missing. The shute’s empty, someone else must
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NUMBER TWO Can't I just interrogate them a little bit?
have used that capsule ... the others are trapped!
 
   
FORD It's too late Arthur, we can’t help them. This capsule won’t turn back.
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CAPTAIN Oh, all right, if you must. Ask them what they want to drink.
   
ARTHUR What happens if I press this button here?
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NUMBER TWO Thank you sir. (shouting) All right you scum, you vermin...
   
FORD Don’t!
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CAPTAIN Oh steady on Number Two...
   
F/X A REALLY SMASHING SUPER SOUND OF THE CAPSULE MAKING A HYPERSPACE JUMP
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NUMBER TWO What do you want to drink?
   
NARRATOR Fortunately for Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent their capsule was fitted with latest in instant space travel,
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FORD Well, the gin and tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur?
the Phargilor Kangaroo Relocation Drive, by which a ship may be ejected suddenly through the fabric of the
 
space time continuum and come to rest far from its starting point. This is however an emergency device and there
 
is rarely time to plot where the ship will land. Meanwhile, this is what happened to Zaphod, Trillian, and Marvin...
 
   
F/X BUGBLATTER SCREECH
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ARTHUR What? Oh yes.
   
TRILLIAN ('''Screams''') Look out!
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NUMBER TWO With ice or without!!!!!
   
F/X HUGE ARM SWEEPS DOWN AND PICKS THEM UP, THE MONSTER ROLLS HIS EYES WHICH TURN RED, GREEN, THEN A SORT OF MAUVY PINK.
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FORD Oh, with please.
IT RUNS ITS TONGUE ROUND ITS LIPS, BLINKS A COUPLE OF TIMES AND THEN MENTALLY REGISTERS THAT IT HAS JUST REMEMBERED WHAT
 
10 ACROSS IN THE GALACTIC TIMES CROSSWORD WAS TODAY, MAKES A MENTAL NOTE TO WRITE IT IN WHEN IT'S NEXT GOT A COUPLE OF MINUTES
 
   
CAST (Shouts, etc...)
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NUMBER TWO Lemon?!!!!!!!!!!!
   
MARVIN (Resigned) Ouch... Oh dear, oh dear... My arm’s come off.
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FORD Yes please. And do you have any of those little biscuits, you know the cheesy ones..?
   
TRILLIAN Arrrgghh, he’s got us! If ever I survive this I’ll get a job as Moby Dick’s dentist
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NUMBER TWO I’m asking the questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
ZAPHOD Can it Trillian, I’m trying to die with dignity!
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CAPTAIN er, Number Two?
   
MARVIN I’m just trying to die.
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NUMBER TWO Sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
ZAPHOD No problem! Pas de problème!
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CAPTAIN Push off would you, there’s a good chap. I’m trying to have a relaxing bath.
   
MARVIN Ah... the ennui is overpowering.
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NUMBER TWO Sir. May I remind you that you have now been in that bath for over three years!
   
F/X BUG BLATTER BEAST SWALLOWS THEM WHOLE. SOUNDS OF HUGE CAVERNOUS THROAT WITH SLIMY SLOPPING AND GURGLING
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CAPTAIN Yes, well, you need to relax a lot in a job like mine.
 
NARRATOR And this is what happened to Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect.
 
 
F/X REVERSE OF HYPERSPACE EFFECT. LOUD CLANG
 
   
 
</pre>
 
</pre>
   
End of segment timecheck: 11:03
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End of segment timecheck: 14:05
   
 
=== Alternate online script ===
 
=== Alternate online script ===

Latest revision as of 01:36, 11 January 2018

Start of segment timecheck: 13:12

NUMBER TWO    Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir

CAPTAIN    Interrogate them, Number Two?

NUMBER TWO    Yes sir. Torture them sir, stick matchsticks under their finger nails, stub out lighted cigarettes on their skin, sir...

CAPTAIN    Why on Earth should I want to do that?

NUMBER TWO        To get information out of them sir.

CAPTAIN        Oh no no no, I expect they just dropped in for a quick gin and tonic, don't you?

NUMBER TWO        Can't I just interrogate them a little bit?

CAPTAIN        Oh, all right, if you must. Ask them what they want to drink.

NUMBER TWO        Thank you sir. (shouting) All right you scum, you vermin...

CAPTAIN        Oh steady on Number Two...

NUMBER TWO        What do you want to drink?

FORD        Well, the gin and tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur?

ARTHUR        What? Oh yes.

NUMBER TWO        With ice or without!!!!!

FORD        Oh, with please.

NUMBER TWO        Lemon?!!!!!!!!!!!

FORD        Yes please. And do you have any of those little biscuits, you know the cheesy ones..?

NUMBER TWO        I’m asking the questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPTAIN        er, Number Two?

NUMBER TWO        Sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAPTAIN        Push off would you, there’s a good chap. I’m trying to have a relaxing bath.

NUMBER TWO        Sir. May I remind you that you have now been in that bath for over three years!

CAPTAIN        Yes, well, you need to relax a lot in a job like mine.

End of segment timecheck: 14:05

[edit] Alternate online script

http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)

[edit] Other info

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