FitTheSixth

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ZAPHOD    Yeah stand up when you sit on the admiral, primate! 

TRILLIAN    It’s moving! Look, it’s starting to evolve! 

F/X    ZAPPY BURSTING SOUND WHICH IS ALSO A BIT SCREAMY AS THE CHAIR BURSTS INTO A TERRIBLE MONSTER
       GENERAL CRIES OF 'OH GOSH' and 'GOODNESS GRAICIOUS' FROM THE CAST

FORD    Wow, eat your heart out Galapagos Islands. 

ZAPHOD    G-force, you know what that is? 

TRILLIAN    Let me guess, horrible! Am I wrong? 

ZAPHOD    It’s a carbon copy of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal - or I’m a Vogon’s Grandmother! 

F/X    GHASTLY SCREECH FROM THE BEAST

ARTHUR    The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal! Is it safe? 

FORD    Oh Yes! It’s perfectly safe - it’s just us who are in trouble. If that’s the admiral and he still wants his coffee it ain’t sponge fingers he’s gonna dunk in it.

F/X    SCREECH

TRILLIAN    Ford, Throw some furniture at it! 

FORD    What do I do, Pick up this table by the ears? 

ARTHUR    God, the whole place is coming alive! 

F/X    FURTHER ROARS SCREAMS AND HOWLS

ZAPHOD    Yeah, and we’re coming dead! 

TRILLIAN    This ashtray just changed into a jar full of anacondas! 

ZAPHOD    Just- just tell it we’ll let them know! 

FORD    Get off me you filthy sofa! 

ARTHUR    God and I thought Time’s Furnishing was horrific! 

ZAPHOD    Get in the escape capsules!

F/X    CHASE: FEET DOWN METAL CORRIDORS FOLLOWED BY BEAST SCREECH, AND GENERALLY KNOCKING FURNITURE OVER AND EATING IT

FORD    Right, Arthur and I’ll take this one! Zaphod you and the others take the left-hand one! 
((note: radio edit removes opening "right", and gives it to Zaphod as a response to this line))


F/X    HATCHWAY OPENS. SCUFFLES AS ARTHUR AND FORD GET IN, THE BEAST'S SCREECHES ARE MUFFLED

FORD    Press the go-stud Arthur. 

F/X    DULL DETONATIONS AS CAPSULE BLASTS OFF FROM THE SHIP, AND THE WHOOSH OF IT ESCAPING

End of segment timecheck: 9:20

Alternate online script

http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)

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