FitTheSixth

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Start of segment timecheck: 12:00

ARTHUR    Are these really coffins? They’re terribly cold.

F/X    SUDDEN ZAP

NUMBER TWO     (Very sudden, very loud, very Germanic and Military) All right! Hold it right there!

FORD    Hello?

ARTHUR    Why isn’t anyone ever pleased to see us?

(FADE)

F/X    FADE UP: BRIDGE. OCCASIONAL SOUND OF SPLASHINKG WATER

(The Captain and Number One are both fairly vague, pleasant, ineffectual people)

NUMBER ONE    Er, Captain.?

CAPTAIN    Yes, Number One?

NUMBER ONE    Just had a sort of report thing from Number Two.

CAPTAIN    Oh dear.

NUMBER ONE    He was shouting something or other about having found some prisoners.

CAPTAIN    Well perhaps that’ll keep him happy for a bit, he’s always wanted some.

FX    DOOR OPENS

NUMBER TWO    Captain sir.

CAPTAIN    Oh, hello, Number Two, having a nice day?

NUMBER TWO    I have brought you the prisoners I located in freezer bay seven sir.

FORD/ARTHUR    Er, hello.

CAPTAIN    Oh Hello, excuse me not getting up, just having a quick bath. Well, gin and tonics all round then. Look in the fridge Number One.

NUMBER ONE    Certainly, sir

NUMBER TWO    Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir

CAPTAIN    Interrogate them, Number Two?

NUMBER TWO    Yes sir. Tirture them sir, stick matchsticks under their finger nails, stub out lighted cigarettes on their skin, sir...

CAPTAIN    Why on Earth should I want to do that?

End of segment timecheck: xx:xx

Alternate online script

http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)

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