FitTheSixth
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| − | Start of segment timecheck: 7:00ish |
+ | Start of segment timecheck: 13:12 |
<pre> |
<pre> |
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| − | TRILLIAN Thanks a million, Zaphod. |
+ | NUMBER TWO Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir |
| − | ZAPHOD Well, hey don’t look at me. I mean - |
+ | CAPTAIN Interrogate them, Number Two? |
| − | TRILLIAN What do we do? |
+ | NUMBER TWO Yes sir. Torture them sir, stick matchsticks under their finger nails, stub out lighted cigarettes on their skin, sir... |
| − | FORD The Book says run away. |
+ | CAPTAIN Why on Earth should I want to do that? |
| − | ZAPHOD Uhh, how do we get the automatic pilot on our side? Box of choccies and some sweet talk? Any ideas, Marvin? |
+ | NUMBER TWO To get information out of them sir. |
| − | MARVIN If I were you I’d be very depressed. |
+ | CAPTAIN Oh no no no, I expect they just dropped in for a quick gin and tonic, don't you? |
| − | ZAPHOD Earthman? |
+ | NUMBER TWO Can't I just interrogate them a little bit? |
| − | ARTHUR I'd go a long with Marvin. |
+ | CAPTAIN Oh, all right, if you must. Ask them what they want to drink. |
| − | ZAPHOD Ford? |
+ | NUMBER TWO Thank you sir. (shouting) All right you scum, you vermin... |
| − | FORD Well, I always find that the prospect of death contracts the mind wonderfully. |
+ | CAPTAIN Oh steady on Number Two... |
| − | TRILLIAN Ya know, I’ve just thought: there is a chance. |
+ | NUMBER TWO What do you want to drink? |
| − | ARTHUR What a chance? As far as I can see you might as well lower haystacks off the boat deck of The Lusitania! |
+ | FORD Well, the gin and tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur? |
| − | TRILLIAN No, no, think about it. The second-in-command assumed that the admiral, Zaphod, and I were the same person not because we looked similar, but because we looked completely different! |
+ | ARTHUR What? Oh yes. |
| − | FORD Hey! Y- yes! |
+ | NUMBER TWO With ice or without!!!!! |
| − | TRILLIAN So if… |
+ | FORD Oh, with please. |
| − | FORD Right! Right! I’m with you. If the second-in-command can be a shoebox, the admiral can be anything. A- a paraffin stove, a- a water bison, an anaconda… |
+ | NUMBER TWO Lemon?!!!!!!!!!!! |
| − | ZAPHOD Terrr-rific! I’ll root around for the water bison. Trillian you see if you can find the jar the admiral keeps his anacondas in. |
+ | FORD Yes please. And do you have any of those little biscuits, you know the cheesy ones..? |
| − | FORD Look, can it Zaphod! It could quite easily be something mundane: er, a screwdriver, that cord of wire, the chair itself! |
+ | NUMBER TWO I’m asking the questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| − | ZAPHOD Yeah. Hey, you know that’s a really neat chair - could’ve been made for me. It’s got the two headrests, dig? |
+ | CAPTAIN er, Number Two? |
| − | FORD What tho- those two great furry things? |
+ | NUMBER TWO Sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| − | ZAPHOD Yeah. |
+ | CAPTAIN Push off would you, there’s a good chap. I’m trying to have a relaxing bath. |
| − | FORD Oh, they look ridiculous. |
+ | NUMBER TWO Sir. May I remind you that you have now been in that bath for over three years! |
| − | TRILLIAN It was very uncomfortable. I prefer something with far longer arms. |
+ | CAPTAIN Yes, well, you need to relax a lot in a job like mine. |
| − | ARTHUR But which is probably quite incapable of drinking coffee! |
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| − | ZAPHOD Hey, errrr, what did you say, Earthman? |
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| − | TRILLIAN Did you say headrests Zaphod? They look a lot like eyebrows to me. |
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| − | ZAPHOD That chair is scratching its leg. |
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| − | TRILLIAN It’s just been asleep all this time. |
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| − | FORD Arthur! For god’s sake get back here quick! |
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| − | ZAPHOD Yeah stand up when you sit on the admiral, primate! |
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| − | TRILLIAN It’s moving! Look, it’s starting to evolve! |
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| − | |||
| − | [A loud roar] |
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| − | |||
| − | ZAPHOD [Screams] |
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| − | FORD Eat your heart out Galapagos Islands. |
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| − | ZAPHOD G-force you know what that is? |
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| − | TRILLIAN Let me guess, horrible! Am I wrong? |
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| − | |||
| − | [Another loud roar] |
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| − | ZAPHOD It’s a carbon copy of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal - or I’m a Vogon’s Grandmother! |
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| − | |||
| − | ARTHUR The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal! Is it safe? |
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| − | |||
| − | [Sound of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal salivating] |
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| − | FORD Oh Yes! It’s perfectly safe - it’s just us who are in trouble. If that’s the admiral and he still wants his coffee it ain’t sponge fingers he’s gonna dunk in it. |
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| − | |||
| − | [A loud roar] |
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| − | |||
| − | ZAPHOD Wuuahhhhhhhh! |
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| − | |||
| − | TRILLIAN Ford! Throw some furniture at it! |
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| − | FORD What do I do?! Pick up this table by the ears? |
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| − | |||
| − | ARTHUR [Shouts]Oh god, the whole place is coming alive! |
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| − | |||
| − | [We hear the contents of the spaceship slowly waking up…] |
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| − | ZAPHOD Yeah, and we’re coming dead! |
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| − | TRILLIAN These ashtrays! Just turned into a jar full of anacondas! |
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| − | ZAPHOD Just- just tell it we’ll let them know! |
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| − | TRILLIAN Ah! Urgh! |
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| − | |||
| − | FORD Get off me you filthy sofa! |
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| − | ARTHUR God! And I thought Time’s Furnishing was horrific! |
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| − | |||
| − | ZAPHOD [Shouts] |
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| − | FORD Arthur and I’ll take this one! Zaphod you and the others take the left-hand one! |
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| − | |||
| − | ZAPHOD Right! |
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| − | |||
| − | [Over the roaring we hear the escape capsule opening] |
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| − | |||
| − | FORD Press the go start Arthur. |
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| − | |||
| − | [The escape capsule leaves the ship] |
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</pre> |
</pre> |
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| − | End of segment timecheck: 9:20 |
+ | End of segment timecheck: 14:05 |
| − | === Alternate scripts === |
+ | === Alternate online script === |
http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm |
http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm |
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| + | (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do) |
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=== Other info === |
=== Other info === |
||
Latest revision as of 01:36, 11 January 2018
Start of segment timecheck: 13:12
NUMBER TWO Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir CAPTAIN Interrogate them, Number Two? NUMBER TWO Yes sir. Torture them sir, stick matchsticks under their finger nails, stub out lighted cigarettes on their skin, sir... CAPTAIN Why on Earth should I want to do that? NUMBER TWO To get information out of them sir. CAPTAIN Oh no no no, I expect they just dropped in for a quick gin and tonic, don't you? NUMBER TWO Can't I just interrogate them a little bit? CAPTAIN Oh, all right, if you must. Ask them what they want to drink. NUMBER TWO Thank you sir. (shouting) All right you scum, you vermin... CAPTAIN Oh steady on Number Two... NUMBER TWO What do you want to drink? FORD Well, the gin and tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur? ARTHUR What? Oh yes. NUMBER TWO With ice or without!!!!! FORD Oh, with please. NUMBER TWO Lemon?!!!!!!!!!!! FORD Yes please. And do you have any of those little biscuits, you know the cheesy ones..? NUMBER TWO I’m asking the questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAPTAIN er, Number Two? NUMBER TWO Sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAPTAIN Push off would you, there’s a good chap. I’m trying to have a relaxing bath. NUMBER TWO Sir. May I remind you that you have now been in that bath for over three years! CAPTAIN Yes, well, you need to relax a lot in a job like mine.
End of segment timecheck: 14:05
[edit] Alternate online script
http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)
[edit] Other info
- Episode is 30:40 duration in total
- Fix the Sixth: Casting Call - <4c45cf06$0$28644$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com>
- Fix the Sixth - Froup Production - <4c45cf06$0$28644$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com> - http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.douglas-adams/browse_thread/thread/57981f852b86f48b#
