FitTheSixth

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(cull ye olde stuff, copypasta new stuff from clivebanks site. cleanup pending)
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Start of segment timecheck: MM:SS
   
 
<pre>
  
<pre>
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ZAPHOD Yeah stand up when you sit on the admiral, primate!
 
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TRILLIAN It’s moving! Look, it’s starting to evolve!
 
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F/X ZAPPY BURSTING SOUND WHICH IS ALSO A BIT SCREAMY AS THE CHAIR BURSTS INTO A TERRIBLE MONSTER
  
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GENERAL CRIES OF 'OH GOSH' and 'GOODNESS GRAICIOUS' FROM THE CAST
  
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FORD Wow, eat your heart out Galapagos Islands.
 
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ZAPHOD G-force, you know what that is?
 
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TRILLIAN Let me guess, horrible! Am I wrong?
 
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ZAPHOD It’s a carbon copy of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal - or I’m a Vogon’s Grandmother!
 
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F/X GHASTLY SCREECH FROM THE BEAST
  
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ARTHUR The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal! Is it safe?
 
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FORD Oh Yes! It’s perfectly safe - it’s just us who are in trouble. If that’s the admiral and he still wants his coffee it ain’t sponge fingers he’s gonna dunk in it.
  
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F/X SCREECH
  
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TRILLIAN Ford, Throw some furniture at it!
 
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FORD What do I do, Pick up this table by the ears?
 
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ARTHUR God, the whole place is coming alive!
 
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F/X FURTHER ROARS SCREAMS AND HOWLS
  
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ZAPHOD Yeah, and we’re coming dead!
 
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TRILLIAN This ashtray just changed into a jar full of anacondas!
 
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ZAPHOD Just- just tell it we’ll let them know!
 
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FORD Get off me you filthy sofa!
 
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ARTHUR God and I thought Time’s Furnishing was horrific!
 
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ZAPHOD Get in the escape capsules!
  
ZAPHOD Get in the escape capsules!
   
Line 55: Line 16:
   
 
F/X DULL DETONATIONS AS CAPSULE BLASTS OFF FROM THE SHIP, AND THE WHOOSH OF IT ESCAPING
  
F/X DULL DETONATIONS AS CAPSULE BLASTS OFF FROM THE SHIP, AND THE WHOOSH OF IT ESCAPING
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ARTHUR: Phew! Safe. Oh! Oh! Hey, Ford, look! The other capsule’s missing! The chute’s empty! Someone else must’ve used that capsule! The others are trapped!
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FORD:
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Well it’s too late Arthur we can’t help them. This capsule won’t turn back.
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ARTHUR:
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What happens if I press this button here?
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FORD:
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Don’t!
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[Noise of Phargilor Kangaroo Relocation Drive engaging]
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Narrator:
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Fortunately for Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent, their capsule was fitted with latest in instant space travel: the Phargilor Kangaroo Relocation Drive - by which a ship may be ejected suddenly through the fabric of the space-time continuum and come to rest far from its starting point. This is, however, an emergency device and there is rarely time to plot where the ship will land. Meanwhile, this is what happened to Zaphod, Trillian, and Marvin:
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Scene 4. Int. Spaceship
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[Ferocious roaring]
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TRILLIAN:
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[Yells]
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ZAPHOD:
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Oh! No. No! Get off!
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TRILLIAN:
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Look out!
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[More ferocious roaring]
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MARVIN:
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Ouch.
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TRILLIAN:
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[Screams]
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[Even more ferocious roaring]
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ZAPHOD:
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Keep off! Ugh! Uhhh!
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MARVIN:
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Oh no. Dear, dear, dear, my arm’s come off.
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TRILLIAN:
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[Puffing with exertion] He’s got us! Urgh!
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[The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal begins advancing on them]
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TRILLIAN:
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If ever I survive this [Pant] I’ll get a job as Moby Dick’s dentist
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ZAPHOD:
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Urgh! Wh! Ge-
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[More eating]
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ZAPHOD:
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Can it Trillian, I’m trying to die with dignit-eeeeee!
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TRILLIAN:
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Urghh!
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MARVIN:
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I’m just trying to die.
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TRILLIAN:
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Urgh-huh-huh!
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ZAPHOD:
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[Yells]
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[The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal begins eating them]
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ZAPHOD:
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No problem! Pas de problème!
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MARVIN:
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Ah... the ennui is overpowering.
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[The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal swallows and burps]
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NARRATOR:
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And this is what happened to Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect:
   
 
</pre>
  
</pre>
   
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End of segment timecheck: 9:20
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End of segment timecheck: MM:SS
   
 
=== Alternate online script ===
  
=== Alternate online script ===

Revision as of 21:01, 10 May 2015

Start of segment timecheck: MM:SS 

ZAPHOD    Get in the escape capsules!

F/X    CHASE: FEET DOWN METAL CORRIDORS FOLLOWED BY BEAST SCREECH, AND GENERALLY KNOCKING FURNITURE OVER AND EATING IT

FORD    Right, Arthur and I’ll take this one! Zaphod you and the others take the left-hand one! 
((note: radio edit removes opening "right", and gives it to Zaphod as a response to this line))


F/X    HATCHWAY OPENS. SCUFFLES AS ARTHUR AND FORD GET IN, THE BEAST'S SCREECHES ARE MUFFLED

FORD    Press the go-stud Arthur. 

F/X    DULL DETONATIONS AS CAPSULE BLASTS OFF FROM THE SHIP, AND THE WHOOSH OF IT ESCAPING

ARTHUR: Phew! Safe. Oh! Oh! Hey, Ford, look! The other capsule’s missing! The chute’s empty! Someone else must’ve used that capsule! The others are trapped! 
FORD:
Well it’s too late Arthur we can’t help them. This capsule won’t turn back.
ARTHUR:
What happens if I press this button here?
FORD:
Don’t!
[Noise of Phargilor Kangaroo Relocation Drive engaging]
Narrator:
Fortunately for Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent, their capsule was fitted with latest in instant space travel: the Phargilor Kangaroo Relocation Drive - by which a ship may be ejected suddenly through the fabric of the space-time continuum and come to rest far from its starting point. This is, however, an emergency device and there is rarely time to plot where the ship will land. Meanwhile, this is what happened to Zaphod, Trillian, and Marvin:
Scene 4. Int. Spaceship
[Ferocious roaring]
TRILLIAN:
[Yells]
ZAPHOD:
Oh! No. No! Get off!
TRILLIAN:
Look out!
[More ferocious roaring]
MARVIN:
Ouch.
TRILLIAN:
[Screams]
[Even more ferocious roaring]
ZAPHOD:
Keep off! Ugh! Uhhh!
MARVIN:
Oh no. Dear, dear, dear, my arm’s come off.
TRILLIAN:
[Puffing with exertion] He’s got us! Urgh!
[The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal begins advancing on them]
TRILLIAN:
If ever I survive this [Pant] I’ll get a job as Moby Dick’s dentist
ZAPHOD:
Urgh! Wh! Ge-
[More eating]
ZAPHOD:
Can it Trillian, I’m trying to die with dignit-eeeeee!
TRILLIAN:
Urghh!
MARVIN:
I’m just trying to die.
TRILLIAN:
Urgh-huh-huh!
ZAPHOD:
[Yells]
[The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal begins eating them]
ZAPHOD:
No problem! Pas de problème!
MARVIN:
Ah... the ennui is overpowering.
[The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal swallows and burps]
NARRATOR:
And this is what happened to Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect:

End of segment timecheck: MM:SS

Alternate online script

http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)

Other info

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