FitTheSixth
From ThorxWiki
Start of segment timecheck: 7:00ish
TRILLIAN Thanks a million, Zaphod. ZAPHOD Well, hey don’t look at me. I mean - TRILLIAN What do we do? FORD The Book says run away. ZAPHOD Uhh, how do we get the automatic pilot on our side? Box of choccies and some sweet talk? Any ideas, Marvin? MARVIN If I were you I’d be very depressed. ZAPHOD Earthman? ARTHUR I'd go a long with Marvin. ZAPHOD Ford? FORD Well, I always find that the prospect of death contracts the mind wonderfully. TRILLIAN Ya know, I’ve just thought: there is a chance. ARTHUR What a chance? As far as I can see you might as well lower haystacks off the boat deck of The Lusitania! TRILLIAN No, no, think about it. The second-in-command assumed that the admiral, Zaphod, and I were the same person not because we looked similar, but because we looked completely different! FORD Hey! Y- yes! TRILLIAN So if… FORD Right! Right! I’m with you. If the second-in-command can be a shoebox, the admiral can be anything. A- a paraffin stove, a- a water bison, an anaconda… ZAPHOD Terrr-rific! I’ll root around for the water bison. Trillian you see if you can find the jar the admiral keeps his anacondas in. FORD Look, can it Zaphod! It could quite easily be something mundane: er, a screwdriver, that cord of wire, the chair itself! ZAPHOD Yeah. Hey, you know that’s a really neat chair - could’ve been made for me. It’s got the two headrests, dig? FORD What tho- those two great furry things? ZAPHOD Yeah. FORD Oh, they look ridiculous. TRILLIAN It was very uncomfortable. I prefer something with far longer arms. ARTHUR But which is probably quite incapable of drinking coffee! ZAPHOD Hey, errrr, what did you say, Earthman? TRILLIAN Did you say headrests Zaphod? They look a lot like eyebrows to me. ZAPHOD That chair is scratching its leg. TRILLIAN It’s just been asleep all this time. FORD Arthur! For god’s sake get back here quick! ZAPHOD Yeah stand up when you sit on the admiral, primate! TRILLIAN It’s moving! Look, it’s starting to evolve! [A loud roar] ZAPHOD [Screams] FORD Eat your heart out Galapagos Islands. ZAPHOD G-force you know what that is? TRILLIAN Let me guess, horrible! Am I wrong? [Another loud roar] ZAPHOD It’s a carbon copy of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal - or I’m a Vogon’s Grandmother! ARTHUR The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal! Is it safe? [Sound of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal salivating] FORD Oh Yes! It’s perfectly safe - it’s just us who are in trouble. If that’s the admiral and he still wants his coffee it ain’t sponge fingers he’s gonna dunk in it. [A loud roar] ZAPHOD Wuuahhhhhhhh! TRILLIAN Ford! Throw some furniture at it! FORD What do I do?! Pick up this table by the ears? ARTHUR [Shouts]Oh god, the whole place is coming alive! [We hear the contents of the spaceship slowly waking up…] ZAPHOD Yeah, and we’re coming dead! TRILLIAN These ashtrays! Just turned into a jar full of anacondas! ZAPHOD Just- just tell it we’ll let them know! TRILLIAN Ah! Urgh! FORD Get off me you filthy sofa! ARTHUR God! And I thought Time’s Furnishing was horrific! ZAPHOD [Shouts] FORD Arthur and I’ll take this one! Zaphod you and the others take the left-hand one! ZAPHOD Right! [Over the roaring we hear the escape capsule opening] FORD Press the go start Arthur. [The escape capsule leaves the ship]
End of segment timecheck: 9:20
Alternate scripts
http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm
Other info
- Episode is 30:40 duration in total
- Fix the Sixth: Casting Call - <4c45cf06$0$28644$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com>
- Fix the Sixth - Froup Production - <4c45cf06$0$28644$c3e8da3@news.astraweb.com> - http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.douglas-adams/browse_thread/thread/57981f852b86f48b#
- Alternate cheat sheet: http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm
