FitTheSixth

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Start of segment timecheck: 4:28
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F/X SCREEN GOES DEAD
 
 
ZAPHOD Wowee. weirder and weirder
 
 
TRILLIAN Good god.
 
 
ARTHUR What is it Trillian?
 
 
TRILLIAN Did you see that? I thought you said he was a Leopard.
 
 
ARTHUR He sounded different
 
 
FORD Did he look different?
 
 
TRILLIAN Well he wasn't so much a leopard, more a sort of, you know, shoebox.
 
 
ARTHUR A shoe box?
 
 
TRILLIAN Full of... well, size nine chukka boots.
 
 
ARTHUR A shoe box full of size nine chukka boots?
 
 
ZAPHOD Alright chimpman, what do you think this is, dictation?
 
 
ARTHUR I just wondered how she knew they were size nine?
 
 
FORD Trillian, are you seriously telling us you've been talking to a box of shoes?
 
 
TRILLIAN Yes.
 
 
FORD And he... she... it...
 
 
TRILLIAN They.
 
 
FORD ...thought that you also were the admiral?
 
 
TRILLIAN Well you heard it.
 
 
ZAPHOD What are they, clinically thick?
 
 
 
FORD I think they're very clever. They're trying to confuse us to death.
 
FORD I think they're very clever. They're trying to confuse us to death.
   

Revision as of 22:40, 3 June 2014

Start of segment timecheck: 4:30ish

FORD    I think they're very clever. They're trying to confuse us to death.

MARVIN    I don't think they're very clever. There's only one person as intelligent as me within thirty parsecs of here and that's me.

ZAPHOD    OK Marvin, is there anything you can tell us?

MARVIN    Yes. I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

ARTHUR    What was the name the second in command said? Haggunenon. Why don't we look it up in the book?

TRILLIAN    What book?

FORD    The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

ZAPHOD    Oh, that hack rag.

F/X    BOOKMOTIF

THE BOOK    The Haggunennons of Azizatus Three have the most impatient chromosomes of any life-forms in the galaxy.
            Where as most races are content to evolve slowly and carefully over thousands of generations - discarding
            a prehensile toe here, nervously hazarding another nostril there, the Haggunennons would do for
            Charles Darwin what a squadron of Arcturan Stunt-Apples would have done for Sir Isaac Newton.
            Their genetic structure, based on the quadruple-striated octo-helix, is so chronically unstable,
            that far from passing their basic shape onto their children, they will quite frequently evolve
            several times over lunch. But they do this with such reckless abandon that if, sitting at table,
            they are unable to reach a coffee spoon, they are liable without a moments consideration to mutate
            into something with far longer arms - but which is probably quite incapable of drinking the coffee.
            This, not unnaturally, produces a terrible sense of personal insecurity and a jealous resentment of
            all stable life-forms, or “filthy rotten stinking samelings” as they call them. They justify this by
            claiming that as they have personally experienced what it is like to be virtually everybody else they
            can think of, they are in a very good position to appreciate all their worst points. This appreciation
            is usually military in nature and is carried out with unmitigated savagery from the gunrooms of their
            horribly beweaponed, chameleoid death flotilla. Experience has shown that the most effective way of
            dealing with any Haggunennon you may meet is to run away… terribly fast. 

FORD    Great! 

ARTHUR    Terrific! 

TRILLIAN    Thanks a million, Zaphod. 

ZAPHOD    Well, hey don’t look at me. I mean - 

TRILLIAN    What do we do? 

FORD    The Book says run away. 

End of segment timecheck: 5:something

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