FitTheSixth

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Start of segment timecheck: 11:00

MARVIN    I’m just trying to die.

ZAPHOD    No problem! Pas de problème!

MARVIN    Ah... the ennui is overpowering.

F/X    BUG BLATTER BEAST SWALLOWS THEM WHOLE. SOUNDS OF HUGE CAVERNOUS THROAT WITH SLIMY SLOPPING AND GURGLING

NARRATOR    And this is what happened to Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect.

F/X    REVERSE OF HYPERSPACE EFFECT. LOUD CLANG

[Noise of Phargilor Kangaroo Relocation Drive disengaging]

ARTHUR    Are we in normal space?

FORD    No. I think we’ve materialised inside another spaceship.

ARTHUR    More problems.

FORD    We'll, we’ll see. 

[Sound of scanners checking]

FORD    Atmosphere’s ok. Le-Let’s get out and have a look.

[Hatch opens]

ARTHUR    Ford?

FORD    Yeah?

ARTHUR    What about the others?

FORD    Arthur, you’ll have to learn it’s a convention in all space-travelling species
        that if have to ditch someone, you know - a friend, and there’s nothing you can do,
        you just let it be. You don’t talk about them, Okay?

ARTHUR    What, really?

FORD    And then we get blind drunk about them later.

ARTHUR    I think there must be something terribly wrong with the universe you know.

FORD    I think there must be something terribly wrong with this ship!

ARTHUR    Yes, it looks like a mausoleum.

FORD    That’s it! Yes you’re right! The place is full of sarcophagi as far as the eye can see! Wild!

ARTHUR    What’s so great about dead people?

FORD    Well I don’t know. Let’s have a look. Here! Here. There’s a plaque on this one.

ARTHUR    What does it say?

FORD    ”Golgafrincham Ark Fleet. Ship B. Hold Seven: Telephone Sanitizers, Second Class.” And a serial number!

ARTHUR    ”Telephone Sanitizer”? A dead telephone sanitizer?

FORD    Best kind.

ARTHUR    Well what’s he doing here?

FORD    Not a lot.

ARTHUR    No! - but I mean why? Good god! This one’s a dead hairdresser.

FORD    And this one here’s an advertising account executive.

ARTHUR    Are these really coffins? They’re terribly cold.

NUMBER TWO    Alright! Hold it right there!

ARTHUR    Why isn’t anyone ever pleased to see us?

End of segment timecheck:

Alternate online script

http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/THHGTTG/THHGTTGradio6.htm (note that this appears to be a transcription of the broadcast, rather than following the script books as the above prefers to do)

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